Jean Kilbourn the creator of killing us softly talks to the audience about the media and its connections with women. She says that 10,20, and 30 years ago the media and advertisers stress how a women should be, the ideal image, like today. Jean speaks about how important a women’s image is and what the image says. Women are given the role of being an object, vulnerable, and inferior to men. She speaks about how women are looked at as objects rather than people. Jean says that when little girls reach the teen years they are forced to become perfection and this is a main factor in low-self esteem, and eating disorders in teens and young women. Society and the media created this image of perfection for women, which is impossible to live up to. The image includes a women to be skinny, tall, and have assets like long legs, and big breasts. Society and the media gives the idea to men that the only reason for women’s being is to be ideal and someTHING good to look at, not even someONE.
Women are supposed to be inferior to men giving men the idea that women are theirs. Jean says the media is also one of the reasons for higher violence, whether it be sexual or physical against women. Advertising gives the idea that violence against women is okay. It gives the “O.K.” to men and creates this idea that violence is erotic and pleasurable. She also speaks about how women are now able to get plastic surgery to create the perfect body and technology can not only create computer touch-ups to a women but make up one using so called “perfect” features from different women to create the perfect one. Jean also speaks about how this rarely happens to men. Men are always portrayed as the dominant one especially over colored women who are sometimes looked at as animals. Sex is also a main factor in media and society. Women are looked at as sexual objects having one purpose; to please men. Sex is on the majority of every magazine cover and throughout ad’s almost everywhere. The media often speaks about sex, but never relationships. In conclusion Jean stresses that advertising and society define women.
“A Call to Men”
Tony Porter speaks about how men are taught to be “men”. He speaks about how men are literally raised to be a man. By society a man is defined as a person who expresses no emotions, is superior to women, shows no weakness, no fear, is the most powerful and dominate, aggressive, not gay, tough, athletic, strong, courageous, and most importantly, not be “like a women”. He speaks of his experiences growing up in the Bronx and how his man box which includes all of the above was in jeopardy for potentially saying no to sex that was unauthorized by the women. He also spoke of a time when shortly after his brother was buried at a young age, his father broke down in tears when the women were not around. He remembers his father saying he would have much rather broke down in tears in front of his son then the women. He says that men, are constantly in a position that requires them to act how “like a man” and have all aspects of those he stated in the “man box”. He also relates this way of how society thinks a man should be to his home life with his own son. He speaks about his daughter. When she cry’s, he says he tries to make everything better. When his son cries, who is only a few months apart form his daughter, he tells him to stop crying and act like a man. He also explains how this idea of a man is stressed at a young age because his kids are only 5.
His next point was about how the “man box”, and everything in it creates more violence for women. He explains that harassment, porn, dating violence, rape, stalking, domestic violence, and sexual assault stems down from this idea of what a man is. He says that because of the “man box” and the rules, women are seen as objects and the only value they have is for a mans pleasure. The idea is a foundation for violence against women. Promoting the stereo-typical idea of what a man is only making it alright for men to be violent towards women. He says that we need to stop teaching our kids that women are inferior to men. We need to make sure our boys know the equality and we need to raise their own boys to know it is okay to not be dominate, to show feelings, and to know the liberation as a man is tied to liberation as a woman and to escape from the stereotypical “man box“.
Both relate to the chapter of socialization because both show exact examples of how our children are being socialized by society. Images from media and television commercials impact our children’s lives in a horrible way. They show fake images that were re-touched or remain and give not only children but women this idea of what perfection is and that’s how they should be. This gives women and young children boys and girls superficial and stereotypical standards that they should supposedly live up to.
Both videos also talk about sex. It is a main factor that people are negatively socialized with. Sex makes women look like objects rather than people. In Tony Porters story he says how his friends raped a mentally ill girl from the neighborhood all taking turns. This shows that she was looked at as a object that everyone from the neighborhood was offered a piece to. In Jean Kilbournes speech she talks about how media makes the women feel like they are objects rather than people. She says that media makes sex the only reason for a women’s being. Not for herself but rather for a man.
